Week 3 – T Reads a Book he Would Never Otherwise Read (Part 1)

PART I

So, I would consider myself a reader. Most books I would not shun, my primary interests are philosophy books, and non-fiction, but put me on a lake in the sun, or between two trees on a hammock, and I will happily read almost anything.  I had to stretch my imagination for something I would never read, I even thought of occasions where I would read something like “Twilight”. I shiver to think it, but I could imagine a scenario where it could happen…oh fine I already read it, the chance to read the text describing Edward Cullen’s milky white skin was just too much to resist.  Okay that is a complete lie, but the chance to tag “Twilight” should get the tub a few more glances…perhaps?  Maybe not.

Continuing with the discussion on “Twilight” I was at a convention once in Nashville, Tennessee. There were actually two conventions at the Grand Ole Opry that day, the one I was attending and a “Twilight” convention.  I tried to use my pass to sneak into the  Twilight convention, I had to see exactly what the fuss was all about (I still don’t know)…needless to say I was busted, I plead confusion, and all was fine, but I tried to sneak back in through a line forming in the rear of the convention center.  I don’t know what I was thinking or why this was important to me (actually it was because the convention I was slated to be at made me consider taking my own life, it was perhaps the most boring three hours one could be forced to sit through), but I needed to try one more time.  At first I was just having fun, playing some re-invented version of Soviet spy or something, but then I noticed that I was the only grown male in a line with hundreds of 12 year old girls and their moms.  The line was roped off, and dozens of pre-teens were now behind me, I was stuck in this line, and I now feel very uncomfortable being there.  The mom in front of me asked if I was here with my daughter, I cannot explain the look of terror in this woman’s face when I told her that I didn’t have kids and that I was here alone.  The sad thing is I had no idea where this line was going, or how I would get out…about an hour later I got out, but only after having to pay $40 for an extra-large girls t-shirt (the only size that would fit me), and Booboo Stewart’s autograph. The woman who sold the t-shirts and Booboo himself didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when I told them the shirt was for me, and to make out the autograph to me.

I’m not sure why I get myself into these intentionally awkward situations, but this week’s challenge allowed me to feel the same way.

The Genre: Trashy Romance Novel

The Plan: Discover the most ridiculous trashy romance novel in the most ridiculous place…Wal-Mart here I come.  I thought it would be funny if I picked out the most insanely terrible book I could find, and then bring it to the register with a tube of KY and bottle of wine, then I was going to see if the cashier would hold them up for a picture with a look of disgust on her face.  She wasn’t buying it, she called the manager over, I was quickly given Wal-Mart’s policy on photography in the store (DON’T DO IT) and then asked to leave.  I told them I was a blogger, and this project had journalistic integrity, again they weren’t buying it.  When I agreed to put the camera away, they agreed to sell me the “groceries” however I was refused the wine, as the manager has the right to refuse any sale of alcohol.  As she was walking away, I did manage to snap a picture of the book and the KY, I’m pretty sure they thought I was crazy, and just wanted me to leave…not without my Harlequin $4.12 Blaze grade novel.{1}

ky

The Plan Continued: Read my book while wearing my $40.00 Forks Washington autographed T-shirt, and comment after each chapter.

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