WEEK 4 – T reads a book he would never otherwise read (Part 2)

PART II

The Book: “Some Like It Hotter” by Isabella Sharpe.

The Description: “To coffee-shop owner Eva Meyer, the Californian coast is beautiful, mellow…and boring.  The solution? Swapping lives.”  In case you were wondering Eva takes hers tall, dark and extra hot! (I get the feeling that wasn’t describing her coffee)

Chapter 1: 

Ummm what have I gotten myself into?  Okay the story is now set…Eva and Chris are twin sisters, they both own coffee shops, Eva in California and Chris in New York.  Eva is bored, and Chris is exhausted, so what do they decide to do…trade lives for a month.  If you’re wondering how they both pulled off this feat…their dad was Dr. Meyer, coffee scientist extraordinaire.  Also the twins got their names because they were born on Christmas Eve…Chris and Eva. (Someone shoot me)…(please)

Chapter 2:

Eva has to share Chris’ tiny NYC apartment with sexy Natalie who is kind of a bitch, Eva seems to like her though.  Chris gets to stay in Eva’s spacious house, and loves it, they each tour the others coffee shop, totally stereotypical NYC and Cali style shops…an interesting fact (if facts can be gleamed out of Isabella Sharpe’s “Some Like It Hotter”) a red eye in NYC is called a hammerhead in Cali, and a depth charge in Wisconsin.  At this point in the romance, Eva met Ames Cooke, who she wants to have 5 or 6 kids with, and Chris just met a yet to be named blue eyed heart throb who launched her heart into triple time. (I’m not sure if that means Chris is going into cardiac arrest, she is overly smitten, or the red eye is causing heart palpitations…I can’t wait to find out in chapter 3)

Chapter 3: 

Ames Cooke is working hard from home, one of the perks of being a wine salesperson, I guess?  When out of the blue, who shows up unannounced…that’s right Eva Meyer.  Ames was annoyed because she isn’t really his type, but she got her way and they would hang out that night.  Ames just hoped they wouldn’t bump into anyone in his circle, because she was wearing green boots, and he’s a douche.  They went mini golfing in Greenwich Village, had a couple beers, and all of the sudden the green boots don’t look so bad. They made out in the cab before (after eating Middle Eastern food) he escaped and went in for the night.

Chapter 4:

Back at NYEspresso the next day (Chris’s NYC coffee shop that Eva is watching) Eva just wants the long day to end so she can surprise Ames with take out from Happy’s Chinese Food, but Tom Brewster just wouldn’t gather his shit and leave, he’s a dorky composer who went to Juilliard (so many tasty adjectives in this book).  Natalie the bitchy roommate came in for a coffee, and Eva tries to hook her up with Tom.  Who knows if this will work, but it got Tom off his game, and he finally left, Natalie took off, leaving Rebecca the jabber-mouth barista and Eva to actually close.  Finally, Eva can saunter off to surprise Ames with a little treat from Happy’s…will he like it, or will he like it hotter? (I just borrowed that from the title, I know it doesn’t really make sense, but I’m reading a romance novel, nothing really makes sense anymore)

Chapter 5:

When Eva got to the door, Ames (I have no idea how to pronounce this name, is it like Amos, is it like Aims?  No idea?) was cranky, and wanted nothing to do with dinner, he was busy she should have called first, but he let her in.  He was a mess, and so excused himself to take a shower.  Eva, the temptress that she is snuck in the shower right after him and gave him a BJ, then after the shower Amos/Aims returned the favor (pretty much the whole time I’m wondering about the Chinese food getting cold, why don’t they care about the Chinese food getting cold…it gets worse) when the romp in the bathroom is over they pretend to have a picnic in the living room, eating what I presume to be cold Chinese food.  That only lasted about a minute before they started having sex…right on top of the Chinese food.  Not sure what is going to happen next, but I’m thinking another shower, and ordering new Chinese food.  Eva is thinking she’s really falling in love, but doesn’t want Ames to think she’s getting attached…also she wants to redecorate her sister’s coffee shop. (I smell trouble, or is that just the mixture of sex and Chinese food?)

Chapter 6:

Back to Chris who is going on a date with Gus (the blue eyed heart throb) in California.  Gus just wants to go surf and have Chris watch, Chris was expecting more.  Well Zac (the annoying grad student/patron who hangs out at Slow Pour (Eva’s coffees shop)) saved the day, he had an extra granola bar, and offered it to Chris, so Chris was like screw you Gus, I’m just going to have Zac take me home, then Zac took her home. Solid chapter!

Chapter 7:

Back in NYC Ames is having beer and fries with his brother Mike, and can’t stop thinking about Eva.  Mike notices and asks what’s up, so Ames tells him he might have feelings for this chick Eva, then they talk about the Cleveland Browns.  As Ames is walking home Eva calls him because there is a creeper outside of NYEspresso.  Ames rushes over and saves the day, they go back to his house, and have some wine and lasagna…I thought they were going to let it get cold and have sex on it, but it turns out they just ate it, how conventional?  Ames was going to call Eva a cab, but instead he said “do you want to spend the night”.  What? That wasn’t the plan…oh Ames!

Chapter 8:

Sex

Chapter 9:

Fast forward a week…Eva plans on adding a splash of color to NYEspresso, so she closes early and goes thrift shopping with Ames, when they get back to hang the new colorful decorations, they get distracted and have sex on the pastry stand.  (Here is where you the reader get to pick the line you like best)

1. Coffee, extra cream!

2. Not exactly the splash of color Eva was thinking of.

3. “This cannoli is delicious, what’s the secret?”

I had two more about glazed doughnuts and re-defining the red eye, but I’ll stop while I’m ahead?

Chapter 10:

Meanwhile, in California, Chris is looking to make design changes to Slow Pour, then Zac comes in and says he wants to get to know Chris better and that she should stay longer (there is only a week and a half before she goes back to NYC).  Then Gus comes in and wants to have dinner with her, then Bodie, Gus’ friend comes in, and his eyes lock with Chris’ eyes, so many choices, what’s a girl to do?

Chapter 11:

Eva wants to call Ames, Ames wants to call Eva…Ames calls first, after much deliberation he decides to invite her to the uppity Boyce Dinner{3}, (for his wine clients) she won’t fit in, but he doesn’t really care.  Then he invites her over for “gumbo”. (I guess I didn’t need to put that in quotes, but these two have a habit of letting all there food get cold, if you know what I mean) (I meant they have sex instead of eating)

Chapter 12:

Today is the big day.  The Catalina Wine Mixer is here.  Eva is so nervous, but she decided to play it classy and dress like Natalie would dress, so after work she rushed to Ames’ house to get ready, and then guess what happened?  If you guessed they had sex on top of food, you were close, no food this time…speaking of time, it’s time for 20 seconds of euphemisms, because they…took a trip to pound town, knocked boots, bumped uglies, tested the humidity, split the banana, thread the needle, fed the kitty, polished the porpoise, swept the chimney, speared the clam, slammed the ham, stuffed the beaver, buttered the biscuit “in the Biblical sense”, made whoopee, cleaned the carpet, did the deed, and got some stankie on the hang-down.

Chapter 13: (we’re almost done)

The Catalina Wine Mixer; everyone loved Eva, they almost had sex in the cab on the way back to Ames’ place, then did have sex at Ames’ place.  Then out of nowhere, Ames accidentally slams Eva’s head through a spiked robe hook on the back of the bathroom door…wtf, I didn’t see that coming, there was blood everywhere, and she died instantly.  Okay, I made that up, but he did ask her to stay in NYC. (I think that’s kind of shitty, why didn’t he ask if he could go back to California with Eva?  Don’t they have wine in California?)

Chapter 14:

Eva is back at Chris’ place, she is depressed, Ames is at home depressed, Chris calls and wants another month in Cali, so she can hook up with Bodie. Eva says no, so Chris is now depressed too.  Meanwhile Natalie and Tom are hooking up in the other room and Eva is grossed out by them, what about us (the reader) Eva, you didn’t seem to care about us when you were screwing on Happy’s Chinese food.  So anyway everyone is depressed, and Eva decides she wants Ames to move out to California, at the same time back at Ames apartment, he wonders if he could move out to California…not sure what’s going to happen, do these types of books end on a happy note, the suspense is killing me?

Chapter 15:

So be ready for the greatest surprise ever…not with Eva and Ames, that was predictable, he surprised her with flowers at the coffee shop, then they want back to his place had sex, obviously…during this romp, Eva told Ames she couldn’t live without him, and would move to NYC, but after hooking up, Ames told Eva he couldn’t live without her and would move to California, he even has a job interview out there.  Eva doesn’t know where they’re going to end up, but she is betting they have a lifetime to find out…the end.

The surprise?  What will happen to Eva’s twin sister Chris?  Well, Isabela Sharpe has written Chris’s story too…on sale February 2015 (I guess we all know what I’m doing on Valentine’s Day)

The take: So what did I get from “Some Like It Hotter”?  I actually get to say “you can’t judge a book by its cover” and mean it literally.  At first this book seemed awful, just filled with cliché’ after cliché, but after I got a feel for Eva, I could empathize with her, and I found myself caring how things worked out for her, I didn’t like the ending because I thought she deserved more.  If this book was as terrible as I thought it was going to be going in, I am sure I wouldn’t give a shit about how it turned out, but I did, and that was a huge shift in my perspective on this book.  I don’t think I would ever read another romance novel, but I’m happy that I read this one.  It changed my perspective on the genre, and in the end, I came to think of reading like I think of exercise…there will always be benefits that come from simply engaging.{4}

 

 

{1} What a great guy.

{2} Harlequin rating system

{3} I was hoping the dinner would end like this.

{4} Yep, there is a chapter by chapter breakdown of “Some Like It Hotter” now posted on the Internet.  You’re welcome world! -T

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